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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just don’t understand why you work. If that income is making a big difference, I’d rather find a better budget. Does he not let you access his income? Is the 10k your personal spending money?[/quote]

Op here. So after taxes and insurance retirement match, his income becomes 3900 twice a month. We spend about 3500 on mortgage, hoa. He says $2000 for food and household items. $800 for mutual funds, and he's paying extra on the mortgage, $1100 to pay off the house faster. I told him I needed to spend money to get a haircut ond not have him asking me about my purchases. It takes the joy out of spending when he's constantly asking why I bought something. He said he could budget $200 for me a month if I wanted to quit my job, and it could go to my checking, so he's not keeping tabs on how it's spent. Whenever I spend money on things, I always feel guilty, even if it's groceries. I feel like he doesn't understand what something costs and wants me to preform magic and somehow have a lot of food, nothing for the kids but not spend the appropriate amount. [/quote]

HELLO. this isn’t a tax problem. This is a controlling, abusive husband problem.

An adult who is in an equal partnership with another adult doesn’t generously offer them $200 a month to spend. You’re not a child with an allowance. He is making all the decisions, including paying off the mortgage faster and putting money into mutual funds. Meanwhile, you don’t have money for a haircut.

You are not in a healthy marriage.

https://www.verywellmind.com/financial-abuse-4155224

[/quote]

I don't know. They need a budget. With all of those numbers, there isn't much left over. [/quote]

Because her incredibly controlling husband decided on those numbers. He’s the one who decided that they need to sink $800 a month into mutual funds and $1100 into paying off the mortgage faster. Meanwhile she’s working at Starbucks to afford haircuts. That’s messed up. She takes care of the kids and the house during the week, and in return, has access to not a penny of “his” money. Now that she got a job and it’s negatively impinging on his life, he has generously offered her $200 a month.

It’s all just so wrong and not at all what a loving, trusting, and mutually interdependent relationship should be. [/quote]

^^ this right here [/quote]

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