Reply to Braggadocios mother conveniently didn’t mention this bad news -

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can understand initially taking a little petty satisfaction in the misfortunes of someone who has long been a thorn in your side, but I don't understand following the petty satisfaction with a public request for others to help you continue on down the path of pettiness.

None of this was ever about you: your sister's achievements weren't secret plans to hurt you, and your sister's problems don't exist for your benefit.[/quote]

Nailed it.

OP, re-read the post above if you're able to hear what it's really saying. If the relative isn't your sister, don't let that make you shut down to the perceptive take the PP has here.

Because you hate your mom (let's be blunt, you do, though you wrap it in details about her brags), you are taking pleasure in the misfortunes of someone who HERSELF has not bragged to you, as far as I can tell from the thread. The sad thing here is that your mom and your past with her have dulled or killed off any sense of empathy for someone who apparently has had some kind of serious (?) setbacks. I suspect you could muster at least a little empathy for a total stranger who had had [whatever these setbacks are]; however, you not only cannot muster empathy for this relative, you are feeling pleasure in those misfortunes since they help you "out" your mom's weaponized bragging. It sounds as if the relative has shown no toxicity toward you herself (or himself). You've lost all perspective which would help you separate your mom's issues from the rest of your life. If you're not in therapy, please, get it. You need an outside, professional perspective because you've lost your own.

By the way, when I talk about mustering any empathy for the relative I am not saying you need to rush to her side, call her, whatever. I'm only saying that your first instinct on hearing about bad things was to leap immediately to the idea that this confirms your mom's weaponization of brags. You made it about your mom and about you. Saying you're sorry to hear it BUT aha! That shows mom is cherrypicking her news! is not a good thing, OP. Where else has your relationship with your mom damaged your ability to feel things?

Is the bragging issue the main thing with your mom? Is she OK in any other ways? If not, why are you still in contact? [/quote]

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