Reply to This is really bothering me- always being "on" as the parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look at this way. The way he is acting is normal and the way you are acting is not.

It’s weird you never say, I’m not driving and I’m sleeping in tomorrow morning.

I won’t be home Wednesday because I’m going out/working out/visiting friend.

I’m going away with girlfriends for 4 days, tag you are it.

It’s odd you don’t ask for what you need to feel like you are not “always on”.

You’d rather you both be “always on” than you be more like him and do what normal healthy people do and take time for yourself and enjoy life.[/quote]

DP. Lol no. I can’t tell you every time I have to fight tooth and nail to be able to go out. One time he even made me take DS on a girl’s night out (that I had planned days earlier and told him about). The other time he was calling me while I was sitting getting my hair cut freaking out that he “had to go” and was going to leave DS home alone (again I had told him about it days in advance.)

DH literally never clears his plans with me. He just leaves or doesn’t show up. Works as late as he “needs”. [b]Has been this way since baby was born.[/b] [/quote]
um.. ok, there's your problem right here.  After several years of you both living this way you cannot expect him to all of a sudden change his ways by reading your mind.

I get that he SHOULD be able to figure this out on his own as a parent, partner, and empathetic person, but clearly he's not, and  honestly , most men don't and won't.  Men are inherently clueless and selfish when it comes to being a parent. Unfortunately, you have to tell him outright what you expect of him.[/quote]

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