Reply to if you or your spouse cheated- how did you tell the kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My children were young (both elementary school) but I didn't tell them. The older one, now 11 has asked some probing questions, as ex-DH introduced them to AP band moved in with her long before divorce was final. I will not come forward and unnecessarily ruin their image of their father. He is sadly, doing a pretty good job of that himself, as his priorities continued to be skewed.

I have had lots of conversations with my therapist about this - ultimately if one of my children asks point blank if their Dad cheated, I will tell them yes. Having 1 parent who lies is bad enough; to have a child find out both of their parents are liars is devastating.[/quote]

This. I am a child in this situation and I absolutely do consider myself to be betrayed.[b] I was devastated to learn that my mother has been lying to all of us (for example about her whereabouts) and a lie is a lie no matter what it's about. I lost respect for her and it will never be the same. [/b]I lost my friendships with her AP's children. My father has always been honest with me and I appreciate it. Better only one liar as a parent than two.[/quote]

Yeah. It's pretty disgusting for teens to find that out...or what mom's out of town trip was really about.. the one when she missed seeing their game or other part of their life.  [/quote]

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