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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, this is not your issue even if she becomes your dil. My mom died of bc in her 40’s. The BRCA genes were discovered 10 or so years later. I asked my ob-gyn if I should get tested - I was in my late 20’s, IIRC. She said to wait until I was done having kids (I wasn’t even married then), wait until I was close to my mom’s age of diagnosis and do it when I would be ready to take action (ie have prophylactic surgery). I’ve mentioned this many times to other doctors and they all said this was good advice. I got tested at 40, was positive and had surgery to remove my ovaries and also had a prophylactic double mastectomy. One of my siblings got tested and the other didn’t - his choice. Not everyone wants to know.

Also, just bc two sisters had it doesn’t mean it is genetic. A cousin by marriage to me had it as did 2 sisters - no BRCA or other gene.

Finally, I have two kids in their early 20’s. They know about their risk. Their doctor says it is way too early to test.

I’m not sure what you are worried about - that your future grandchildren may be at increased risk for BRCA cancers or if you sincerely care about this woman. More likely than not, she has discussed her risks with her doctor and will start mammograms early and has a plan. You do not need to know that plan unless she decides to share. The fact that you are discussing this behind her back is appalling. [/quote]

Thank you for the most helpful response. Glad all worked out for you and your family.
OP[/quote]

I wrote this. A pp made a very good point. She may already know that she is negative as it is protocol now to test all cancer patients. I have two dear friends going through treatment. Both tested negative for BRCA and other genes. One less thing for them and their kids to worry about. That could be why the family isn’t interested in testing. If the mom was negative - it’s not an issue for the daughter.

Also, you can’t control life. I had the gene but my dh ended up getting cancer (he’s fine). It seems that you do not like his gf for some other reason as you do not express any concern for her and what she would potentially go through - only for your ds. Imo, it’s s bizarre thing to bring up and also odd to want bed to do intervention in her 20’s when that is not typical. [/quote]

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