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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Entitled parents who love to hint at inviting themselves on or full-out invite themselves on vacations with their children and then throw fits when you tell them you want to travel with just your nuclear family. (We HAVE vacationed with them, but every time it has been a disaster and an obligation more than an enjoyable time.)

We vacation every year right when our kids get out of school. Based on advice from this forum, we have decided to not tell them until either right before when it’s too late for them to join, or after we get back. But the parents are putting out STRONG feelers all of a sudden (“It’s getting late in the year. So you have your vacation planned yet?” “Where do you think you want to go this year?”)

[b]As it turns out, we are going somewhere that required a lot of early planning and we’ve been booked for nearly a year at this point. I told DH yesterday that when they find out, they will never believe that we planned this trip last-minute, because it wouldn’t be possible![/b]

So we need a game plan. They WILL ask again. At this point we are lying to their faces and when they find out they will know it. So what do we do? With the facts I have given you, how would you respond when they inevitably ask again so you aren’t blatantly lying, but also not giving them an opening to invite themselves? [/quote]

Re: the bold: So what?

Next time they ask: "We booked a trip for DH, me and the kids to go to X. We'll be sure to tell you about it when we get back."

You don't have to say (or answer questions about) when you started booking. If they cry, "But you told us XYZ!" just say, "We weren't sure about the booking and wanted to wait until it was finalized before we started talking about it. Please pass the potatoes/How about those Commanders/Did you hear Niece is taking ballet" and so on.

You got yourself into the hole of having to undo a lie because, well, you lied (or was it just a lie of omission, not telling them? Less of a big deal, if that's the case.) As another PP said, you're an adult and need to grow a spine. You and DH are planning a great trip to a new place, hooray! Having to hide and dodge is silly game-playing. Just tell them, now, and either say "We didn't tell you sooner because frankly it's not an extended family vacation" or say, if you feel you must, "We didn't want to talk about it until it was finalized." Which is still fudging.

Next year, when they hint and prod, say UP FRONT the first time they ask--even if you have NO specific vacaton plans yet! -- "We're going to vacation with just us and the kids this year. We'll come see you (give them an actual date to chew on)." If they're OK in other respects and the vacation hinting and prodding is the only real issue, then yes, plan a short visit just to see them but not a vacation away with them along. [/quote]

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