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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is hard, not gonna lie. Just acknowledge that it hurts, that it’s unfair, and that they suck, and then try not to dwell in it.  They aren’t your problem anymore.

For what it is worth, I was married 17 years when my ex had an affair with his admin assistant. They recently bought a house together and plan to get married. It hasn’t been easy for them… his family STRONGLY disapproved of his actions, and have continued to keep me in their lives to the extent that whatever my ex was going to get from my in-laws in their will, they advised me that they changed it to that I will get half of whatever he would have gotten. My former sister and brother in law still invite me on family vacations, and all of my ex’s aunts and uncles regularly reach out to me and make a big deal about welcoming me at big events (weddings, funerals, etc.).  That’s made things hard for my ex and I imagine awkward for his affair partner.

Of course I don’t attend everything I’m invited to, but I guess this just goes to show that it’s not all rainbows and unicorns for the new couple. Some people will NEVER accept them.

As for the kids… my kids are older, and my oldest was old enough to understand that dad had a girlfriend immediately after we separated, and that dad’s girlfriend was the admin assistant he’d met a million times before. He put 2 and 2 together, and now he barely wants to even interact with his dad at all, ever. It’s sad, really.

Just hold your head high, throw yourself into your new life and live your best life. [/quote]

This was my DH's mom and step-mom for about 10 years. Ex-wife came to all of the family events, Thanksgiving at his former in-laws, etc., the family all knew and loved her. After DH's step-mom and dad had been married about 10 years step-mom put her foot down and they established a boundary that the ex-wife is not invited by default and other family members shouldn't invite her - they will do it themselves if they want her there. They basically made his family choose their own son and his new wife over the ex. And it worked. They are all fairly cordial now and the husband does invite his ex to family things on occasion. But the "NEVER" forgiving the son wore thin after a while and it makes sense to me in the end who they chose when they had to.[/quote]

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