Reply to Happy Valentine’s Day teen anecdote - I hope it uplifts some of you too

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an Autistic teen and I didn't think of the perspective of the girl who did the rejecting, although I agree that is a good point (especially knowing that some insulted her "he can do better" etc.).  I might feel differently about it if everyone was clearly supportive of her and just trying to make him feel included.

But an additional point nobody has made, the disability community typically doesn't like this kind of "inspo porn," like everyone feels bad for this poor Autistic kid so they shower him with valentines to make him feel better. As someone who has difficulty with social norms, that is SO confusing and very infantilizing. My kid would be thrilled and horrified at the same time.[/quote]

I’m quoting my own post here. I asked my DD about this article without any opinion or discussion.  She said “ew mom.  He shouldn’t have done that.  The girl has a right to say no.  It’s called consent.”  So much for Autistic people being “slow” (?!?!?).  Also, something is a little weird about this story.  As a parent of an Autistic child, you see them rejected CONSTANTLY.  It’s not because other kids are cruel or mean (although some of them may be), the majority of kids just don’t know how to interact with someone who is different and who doesn’t socialize in the same way.  My DD can’t have the chatty, back and forth conversations that many teen girls have in groups.  But she’ll hone in on a special interest and “info dump” to someone she likes.  NT kids don’t know how to deal with that, or many other of her ways of interacting, so they reject and keep their distance.  She’s never included. And if some huge group of cheerleaders one day made some public display of “inclusion” it would feel pitying and fake and GROSS.  Would she be thrilled initially like this kid was?  Maybe.  But these kids are HUMAN. And mine is SMART, this shit would be painful.  How would you like it if you were considered the “loser” at work, and you felt it every day of your life, you just did not fit in.  And you were never included.  And then one day the “lunch bunch” of executives give you a big card like “you’re popular in my book!” “We always miss you at lunch!” “You’re not a loser.”  I mean - if feel maybe like that was nice until I had a chance to think about it, and then I’d want to hide under my desk.[/quote]

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