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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So for those who say they don’t interfere with husbands relationship with parents, does he allow them to be rude to you and you just don’t care that he doesn’t stand up for you? [/quote]

My MIL saves her worst behavior for when he’s out of the room and then she is stunningly rude to me. I’ve made a point now to try to never be home when they visit, I don’t take the obligatory trips to their house (across the country) and if I have to see them I try to glue myself to H’s side so she doesn’t have the opportunity. At thanksgiving this year she couldn’t get me alone and was clearly jonesing to go off on me so she waited until he went up to say goodnight to one of our kids and then went after me in front of the other guests in my home. So bad that her own sister called (so I guess my aunt in law?) called me the next day to try to console me about the behavior. We’ve been married almost 20 years. But it definitely has impacted my opinion of my spouse. Even the more casual rudeness, if my parents treated him the way his treat me (like the hired help basically, except I’d never personally be so rude to anyone I hired, but for lack of a better way to explain it, I’ll use that term) I would call them out every single time because to me it’s like death by a thousand cuts. MIL is purposely rude, FIL is just obtuse and obnoxious and plays off MIL’s deliberate rudeness.[/quote]

Go after you?  What did she actually do or say that you found to be offensive?  What did she do or say that you found rude?  It is telling that you used so many words to criticise her without actually saying what she did wrong.

You also don't indicate what if anything you said in response to her rude behavior towards you.

No I am not a mother in law, but I have one.[/quote]

Not that I need to justify my feelings to you, but…

I had guests in my house. There is no situation under which she should go off on me in front of them. This particular time she was ripping me a new one for “destroying the relationship between my husband and his sibling because I only “allow” him to fly the kids across country twice a year.” His sibling has never, not once, in the 13 years any of us have had kids come to us. Not only that, but my spouse gets two weeks of vacation a year and he uses all but 2 days bringing the kids out there. She called me cheap and controlling because he won’t use the last two days for visits to them and said I don’t need help with school days off because I should cover all of them myself so her son can visit more especially since her son makes more money than I do. He doesn’t. I don’t know why she would think he does. I work full time too and also have long distance parents I need to visit. DCPS has 19 days in a calendar year where the school is closed for a variety of reasons. He doesn’t even use those days to help with that, he just tells her that so she’ll stop hounding him. We use them along with a holiday weekend to cobble together a vacation for our kids that doesn’t involve either set of grandparents. Also, if her own sister found her out of line, that seems pretty telling regardless of what was said in this particular instance.

Be glad you don’t have someone in your life like this. [/quote]

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