Reply to S/O- Anyone married more than 7 years & happy?

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[quote=Anonymous]We'll be married 10 years shortly (got married July of 2002).

We met when I was 23 and he was turning 26.  We spent the first two years of our relationship dating long distance as he was in Boston in grad school (summer in between was spent in DC together).  We got married when I was 26 and he was 29.

Our first child was born in late 2004 and our second 18 months later in 2006.

2006-2007 was our roughest year.  I had just started my own company a month after giving birth and DH had started a new job with a good deal of travel.  We were both just so tired.  We got through it with lots of date nights (tried for once a week), tag-team parenting, having each others back's, and wine.

Spring/summer of 2011 was also rough, but in a different way.  My Mom was dying (she died last July) and I was a mess.  My husband was also close to her (we all liked to joke that she loved him more than me and my brother...) and it was tough on him as well.  I could not stay there during her last 12 hours or so because it was just too hard on me (plus she told me to go home to my kids- she couldn't speak really but she was able to get those thoughts across because she hated that they were with a sitter a few hours away) so I came home and he stayed on to be with her and my Dad.  He also helped my Dad make all the arrangements and was a rock for him and for me.

I could go on- I know I am so fortunate in this way.

The most important things in marriage (I think) are:

* Mutual respect

* Strong communication*****

* Similar ideas about child care, rearing, etc.

* Being able to laugh at yourself, with, and at each other.

* Giving your spouse space.  Girls nights, guys nights, etc.

* Giving your spouse the freedom and flexibility to pursue interests (running, sports, arts, etc. whatever it may be).

* I do think opposites attract

* Having a healthy sex life (Seriously! I am turning 50 shades of red as I type this, but it's true).

* Being kind to one another

* Taking the time to write thoughtful notes in cards and to give each other thoughtful gifts (NOT expensive, just thoughtful).

* Taking time for each other.  Date night's (we even consider splurging on filet and a nice bottle of wine at home and eating after the kid's are in bed a date night).

* Try to get along with your in-laws and siblings-in-law.  It's hard... really hard sometimes, but you have to try.

* Have fun with each other. [/quote]

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