Reply to How do you stay married to an ASD HFA Aspergers husband?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]how did you date and fall in love with him?  surely this isn't a new thing.[/quote]

This reply sounds like it’s from someone who doesn’t understand what it’s like. Let me explain. The partner can temporarily mask it but then after you’re married, their mask comes off. You begin to realize that something is off but you don’t know what. Then one day it dawns on you what has happened and you’re already 5-20 years into the marriage - probably with children. It is shocking and devastating when put the pieces together because you’re in so deep.

I too am curious how to survive this type of marriage. My spouse, though incredibly successful in the business realm, is so awkward and seems like he’s is another world when he’s home, without the structure of his work. It’s like he has no common sense. Our communication usually doesn’t connect. The kids are embarrassed by his social awkwardness - like him trying to be funny and he’s just not even close to being funny, or him teasing at them like they’re 5 but they’re 20 years old. Ugh. [/quote]

This plus they cannot adapt or grow - so layer in a house, kids, wife, 4-5 person schedules and he goes into seclusion pretending it’s solo bachelor days. Yet it so is not. [/quote] This is incorrect. They can adapt and grow. [/quote]

No. This sounds more like how they shutdown once overwhelmed. Emotional topics cause shutdown and responsibilities cause shutdown. Shutdowns are the opposite of adapting and growing into situation or need.[/quote]

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