Reply to The “DH won’t use inheritance” thread is the #1 reason I will not give my adult children too much $$

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Reply to "The “DH won’t use inheritance” thread is the #1 reason I will not give my adult children too much $$"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good for you.  Enjoy your nursing home.  You realize they will inherit it.  I'd prefer to see my kids live more comfortably rather than them inherit it when they are much older and don't need/cannot enjoy it as much.[/quote]

Same. My parents helped me the best they could (not as much as the OP of the other thread but that is only because they don’t have as much money). And I am definitely planning to share with my children while I am alive. I want to see them happy, I want to ease the stress of raising a family and paying for activities or tutoring or summer camps, I want my grandkids to graduate with as little student debts as possible etc…

Not sharing is not how to avoid having spoiled brats. What is key is how you raise them. How you talk about money, what is ok to spend on. And how much you donate to charities and others in need too. I want my kids to have a nice life, I don’t want my kids to buy 2k Louis Vuitton bags before thinking about making regular donations to the soup kicthen. Life priorities are taught early and throughout their lives (mostly by the exemple of how you live your own life by the way)[/quote]

You think you have SO MUCH CONTROL just by the way you raise them but you don’t. You really really don’t. I have seen families where one child turns out a productive member of society and the other one is a mooch.[/quote]

This argument never makes any sense to me. Just because one child ends up different from another child doesn't mean the parents didn't have control.

It means those two kids were parented differently. Parenting is 100% predictive of outcomes but for most people, your childhood experience within your family is the single most important influence on the type of person you become. Like outside of a huge external event like a war or a great depression or a traumatic incident, and even then, the way your parents respond to those external event is hugely impactful. But parents almost never parent each of their kids the same way. So of course there are varying results within a family. Kids get different levels of attention, affection, encouragement, structure, etc. And since this thread is about money, kids in the same family often have hugely different experiences with money as children. In my own family, there are siblings who spent their formative years living in a trailer sharing a bedroom and learning to clip coupons, and a sibling who never knew life without a house with their own room and hearing "yes" to almost all material requests. Those siblings have very different relationships to money and work. Same  parents, same family.[/quote]

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