Reply to Annoyed with a friend and need to take a step back-tell her or just do it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would try to find some truth to tell her. I had a friend sort of ghost me and I never knew why, so I invented all kinds of reasons that made me feel awful about myself (and her, honestly). It was really hard. I wish she’d tried to give me some version of Why rather than nothing at all. [/quote]

Op here. What is the gentlest, kindest way to do that?

I think I do feel some resentment/hurt/judgement/defensiveness and am worried there’s no way to talk about this with her without those emotions coming through, and creating bad feelings.

[/quote]

I really don’t know, but I think dropping hints—like when she does something self absorbed, pause, and say, “I feel like you don’t ask me about my life” or “I feel like you’re not listening to me.” And then after a while of this, you could just write her a note and tell her you need space.

I don’t think there is a way to do a friendship breakup perfectly, but at least give her an idea of what’s going on. It is so much better IMO to have had a tough convo and then have that be the end, vs her just feeling like—“maybe I just need to try harder with my friend and call her more! Maybe she’s mad about X! Maybe she judges my decision to Y! Maybe shes just a miserable jerk!” As I mentioned I had a terrible slow mysterious end of a close friendship a couple years ago, and I STILL agonize about it. [/quote]

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