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[quote=Anonymous]OP, how well do you know the other kids and their parents?

We found out that our son was smoking pot when he and his best friend got busted by the cops.  Turns out, the other family had known for months that their kid was using and they were seeing a family counselor.  Our kids had been best friends for years, and they never mentioned it to us since it was a "private family matter".  In my mind, two kids are best friends they are either doing the same thing, or know about it. We live in the same neighborhood and to this day I won't speak to them.  That's how angry I am.

After that, we took very seriously a responsibility to communicate with friends' parents.  A buddy invited him on a ski weekend.  DH called the child's mom and explained that DS had been caught with pot and that we would be searching his bags before they departed, and what was her philosophy on kids and drugs/alcohol.  When we caught DS sneaking in after meeting up with a girl after curfew, we called the girl's parents and let them know what had happened.

Yes, kids did drugs back when we were young.  But I think in this day and age of computers and iPhones, parents aren't communicating and don't know their children's friends and friends' parents and that can only add to the problem.

We didn't bust our kid to the school counselor but we did ask for some guidance.  "We're concerned about DS's grades and whether he's making the most responsible choices in his life.  Any thoughts you have on his behavior, his choice of friends at school, etc?"  Counselor is no dummy, he knew what was going on and offered some constructive advice, at the same time had no solid reason to suspend our child.
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