Reply to SO's fam doesn't care about baby/there is no village

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]SO's mom has a contentious relationship with her much younger half-siblings but said half-siblings attended our wedding and baby shower before. I sent out 1st birthday invites (show up in person or virtual Zoom) and none of them are coming and none of them feel like meeting baby. Baby is so happy and cheerful and defied all the odds (covid in utero while triple vaxxed leading to NICU stay for 1st week of life). They literally don't care he's alive. And my god, it hurts so, so much. Plus I'm an only so no siblings. SO asked his mom if she wanted to help out with baby, she laughed and said no. Five sitters backed out and one finally said yes after offering close to $40/hr. All of our nearby friends are vehemently childfree which is their choice, but there's nobody to share in the joy of our baby outside of daycare and it really sucks. Luckily we're afloat financially *knock on wood* but [b]it's such a joyless existence for our baby and I feel so sad for our little. [/b]Going out, I almost feel like I have to apologize I have a baby. It was so different when I was a student abroad, people loved babies and everyone truly cherished kids. I would've stayed abroad but getting a visa and job were impossible. What do you do when there is no village in sight?[/quote]

OP, this is an odd thing to say. Babies love their parents and other people who take care of them. Your baby has no idea if they are having a party or not. You even said that the baby was happy.

It sounds like you are projecting your feelings onto the baby. Get screened for post partum depression. And find some "mommy and me" type groups where you can go be with your baby and meet other parents.

I understand if you feel hurt because your family is not engaged with the new member, but there is a difference between them loving the baby and doing things for the baby. If what you are asking for are is childcare and coming to a baby b-day party, some people just aren't baby people and they will decline. If you want a closer relationship with your family in general, maybe you could invite them for an event that is not baby focused, like dinner or a potluck. They can meet the baby there without the pressure that they will be expected to care for or fawn over the baby. My sister and mom loved my kids as babies and were great with them. My dad and brother loved them, too, but had no idea what to do with them. Sis and mom could hold the baby for hours, but dad and brother were done after 5 minutes. It's just how some people are.[/quote]

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