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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you've money, you can spoil them by sponsoring their visits or by getting your own place if you visit their town but what if you can't afford all that. How do you keep good relations without money? How do you keep good relations if their spouses aren't compatible with you? [/quote]

I am having this issue with my College-aged son. He doesn't want to spend the time to come home (his words) but also makes me feel bad for not coming to visit more often. I have to rent a hotel room and haul 4 people plus a dog to see him. Add 3 meals a day for 5-6 people, gas and shopping for him and it becomes cost prohibitive. We also are struggling with his GF who makes outings together stressful and dramatic. His whole personality has changed, especially ove rthis past year where he acts grumpy and entitled around us and it's just become really unpleasant to be together. Makes me sad as we were pretty good with average ups and downs growing up and now it's just not.[/quote]

You should try visiting him on your own sometime, or have your spouse visit sometimes. Or just go with one of your kids.

Do not bring the dog with you, this is ridiculous. Even if the whole family goes, board the dog!

Explore staying in an AirBnB instead of a hotel, which would allow you to do meals there sometimes.

He is young and trying to build a new life for himself. It's honestly weird for you to expect him to organize all the visits to you and for you not to put the effort in to visit him. And this idea that you can only visit him with the whole family is going to get you in trouble as all your kids get older. You need to start developing the relationships you will have when they are ALL adults. Do you not intend to visit any of your kids individually as adults? Well your oldest is an adult now, so it's time to set the tone. You need to recognize that your family is growing up and you have to adjust to what this means for the family. You cannot expect to have them all gathered around you in the same way they were as children from here on out. They will have their own lives and families and you need to figure out how to maintain relationships as their worlds get bigger and encompass more than just your nuclear family.[/quote]

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