Reply to Can we go a little easier on one another?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was ready to agree with you, but I've seen people ask questions like "I called my DC's professor to demand an extension on an assignment because it conflicts with a long-planned family reunion. The professor has not replied yet. WWYD? Call dean or drive to school to request in-person meeting?"

Like in general I think we should be easier on each other, and I always think there is a calm way to disagree. However, some people are asking bad questions because they have poor boundaries, are unable to view their child as an adult or near-adult, and have serious control issues. I think it's okay to call that out.

Also, sometimes it's not a question of helicopter parenting. Like the recent thread on the DD who was left to fill out her applications and then didn't and the OP was livid and very angry with the DD. I didn't think that was great parenting either, sorry. I am okay with being respectful when I post, but I don't think it's my job to tell people who come here asking for feedback "you're doing great!" unless I really think that. One thing I like about DCUM is that people have more freedom to give unvarnished opinions, which can be hard to come by in person.

But yes, some people on these boards have no tact, use unnecessarily salty language, or are working out their own extensive issues on other posters. It's an unfortunate aspect of the site.[/quote]

No one has asked a question like that and  the ones that do indicate ignorance or lack of boundaries are few and far between. We are talking if the normal question by a troubled parent and everyone jumps on the scold the parent claiming “entitlement!” “Racist” “Obviously you,OP, have never heard of X” /and the gotcha statements based upon a sentence fragment that the reader wants to call out to make themselves feel better or more superior. There’s a lot if mentally unstable posters here. They used to leave Sprcial Needs and the college subforum alone so we could help one another. Now, if you post your child’s stats and bewilderment over lack of acceptances -as a parent did this moment -they are immediately called out for “entitlement”. I read and post to hell with facts but I don’t want to read these posts that try to ridicule the OP . [b]Maybe it is time to leave[/b][/quote]

This thread is ironically very timely. I used to be on this board obsessively years ago when my first dc was going through the college process. Then I took a 4 year "break" from DCUM  and it was REALLY NICE. I'm back now bc my last dc is going through this process, [b]because I DO learn some stuff from here[/b]. But, I was thinking just the other day that I can't wait for dc to hear back and decide on a school so I can just be DONE with DCUM. So many judgmental posters and toxic trolls that you have to weed out to get some information. 
[/quote]

+1
Just want to stress that if you read enough on these threads you develop a way to weed out the helpful information from the muck and then this site is EXTREMELY helpful in learning about and navigating the college app process. My frustration with posters are the ones who do not put in the time to do that, post something that shows their lack of self-education and research and then get upset when people react accordingly. It is quite simple really - do your due diligence; do your homework. Show you put in the time and then ask your question or vent your vent. If instead you post something that shows you didn't then I do think it is understandable when others "attack".[/quote]

So, do your “due diligence” elsewhere first or it’s ok to “attack”? What’s wrong with you? [/quote]

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