Reply to Repeating "I want ..." until we gave in.

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[quote=Anonymous]Kids are constantly running social experiments to see what reaction they can get, to test control of the world, to try and find a hack to get their way. Your daughter has found something that works and will keep doing it as long as it works even some of the time. Even if you stop giving in completely shes going to keep experimenting for a while to see if she can get you to start giving in again. This could go on gor a long time, and I know it's hard to hear your kid cry but you have to be 100% consistent and remain consistent for a long time until it's clear to your daughter that she's not going to get the response she wants. Could take months to be honest, since she's had so many experiences with this working out for her and she needs to unlearn it. You are going to need a lot of patience. It's not going to be easy. Try these steps:

1. Warn her. Sit her down and explain she if she ever has a temper tantrum she can't get what she wants anymore.
2. Explain it so she understands. Get some toys and put on a play for her with them. Have Toy A and Toy B both ask for something from Toy C. Toy A asks nicely and says please. She gets what she wants. Toy B has a temper tantrum. Toy B doesn't get what he wants. (I know this sounds weird but acting out scenarios like this with toys helped my kid to grasp this concept at 2).
3. The hard part: you must be completely consistent for months that if she ever has a tantrum she can't have what she's demanding. Even if the request is reasonable, if she throws a tantrum rather than asking nicely it's a no, full stop.
4. Have your husband enforce these rules too so you're not the sole bad guy.
5. When she asks nicely and calmly for some reasonable, don't just give her what she asks for but make a big deal of how great it is that she asked politely and calmly and say how she's being such a big girl!
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