Reply to Feeling hurt when other people fall apart over their elderly ailing parents while mine died young

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[quote=Anonymous]It’s normal for you to feel that it’s unfair that some people are 75 years old and still have a living parent, meanwhile, you lost both of yours in your 30s. Both  of your parents passed well before reaching average life expectancy range, so it’s totally normal to feel that you (and they) were cheated. It’s even normal to feel you’ve had it worse than other people.

What’s not normal is not having compassion for someone losing a much-loved parent. That is a raw, primal pain no matter how it happens. Are some deaths more tragic than others? Yes, of course. But losing your mother hurts, even if she has lived an incredibly healthy, happy, fulfilling, charmed life and passes peacefully in her sleep at 105. Everyone would like one more hug, one more conversation when they lose a loved one, no matter how many they got during their lifetime. There’s something about a parent’s death that unmoors you.

Your husband is suffering and could use compassion in his grief regardless of whether you’ve suffered more.[/quote]

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