Reply to Parents in 70s plan trips without consulting adult children

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Parents in 70s plan trips without consulting adult children"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP, you and your sister sound like really sweet kids who are trying hard to draw boundaries *and* make your parents happy. Your parents can still be happy over time with a positive relationship with you and your sister that includes lots of good, quality time. But it does not have to be at the expense of your sanity and boundaries.

I also don’t think you know what a boundary is. I can’t believe you canceled plans with a friend because your parents have no boundaries. You 100% should have carried on with your plans and gone out with them. Would your parents have complained and pouted? Of course. Should you mind? No - it’s part of the boundary setting process. When they complain, “Mom, Dad, I told you this wasn’t a great week for you to visit. We already made commitments and we don’t cancel plans like that. Next time, if we agree on dates of your visit, we can Bette Roman our schedules,”.

And you can’t let them “guilt” you into spending 3 days at your sister’s house. You are a grown a$$ adult who gets to make decisions about your body and where it goes. “We are off now. See you all on Tuesday.”  [Mom complains, etc etc]. You IGNORE and change the subject. You DO NOT CAVE. You should realize that you are literally training your parents that if they complain enough that you and your sister will do what they want you do to.

It is so-ooo possible to have healthy boundaries *and* a fun, positive, healthy relationship. There may be a few bumps along the way, but the end result is worth it.

OP, do read up on what a real boundary is. That will help. Good luck!! We are rooting for you. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics