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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why not take a class, and volunteer? I've volunteered for an hour a week for the last 11 years and people are always fascinated that I do it. [/quote]

I guess I miss being accomplished. [/quote]

So what new thing are you going to add to your life?  Here's the thing: 20-somethings are not that accomplished and they don't make that much money.  [b]The things we did in our 20s seemed so great is because it was all so new. [/b] I am skeptical that you were more accomplished at your masters stage then you are today, 15 years into your career having developed a "niche skill" set.  What you are, is bored. What do you feel you are ignorant about?  That one, I am still following on a basic level.[/quote]

I agree with this and I'm actually kind of surprised no one else mentioned this.  What we have at 40 is hopefully what we worked towards since we were 20.  What this means though is that there's less excitement.  We aren't moving to a new apartment every few years or making major life changes.  We've settled into our lives.  We probably own reliable cars and a home.  We may have sold and moved to our "forever home" or at least a house in a place we want to be.  Most of us have these sort of life goals when we are young.  If you're driven and work hard, you might have achieved them all by 40.  At which point your life based on goal setting and rapid changes is basically complete.  And you know what?  That's okay.  You're in a good place.  You have stability and a family, a car, a home, etc.  Just because you don't have excitement every couple of years doesn't mean your life has to be boring.  You have the money now to do things.  Go on a weekly date night with your husband when possible.  Prioritize it.  You can get someone to babysit for a few hours if your kids are younger.  Go to shows.  See your friends (more on this below).

Then there's COVID and we didn't leave the house as often.  We stopped seeing people.  We are only now still returning to normal (and we aren't even there yet really).  So think about your friends.  When was the last time you saw them?  Some of them may have been your roommates when you were in or just out of college.  Some of them may have gone clubbing with you or listened to you vent about your ex's.  Now is the time to try to reconnect.  If any live near you, prioritize time with them.  a weekend morning or an evening with your friends every week or two.  At our age, friendships aren't as easy to maintain.  We don't just get together with our friend and rent a place together.  We don't go out looking for fun some random Friday night.  Because of this, our friendships have a way of drifting and possibly atrophying.  We have to make time for them and purposely build and maintain our friendships.  We have to prioritize them or they drift away.  It's much harder to make friends in our 40's.  I've been there but have actually made several new ones.

So I guess if I was to do a TLDR of this, I'd say you've achieved your major life goals.  Now enjoy your life.  You have stability and money.  You have to prioritize things.  There's nothing wrong with being home a lot but you do need some time for fun still.  You're 40.  You're not 80 years old with mobility issues but don't worry, that's coming eventually.  This can be the best decade of your life if you allow it to be.[/quote]

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