Reply to How do I write the name in the address of a sympathy card to an aunt whose husband recently died?

Forum Index » Off-Topic

Reply to "How do I write the name in the address of a sympathy card to an aunt whose husband recently died? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Formally and traditionally, she is and always will be Mrs. John Smith - unless of course she marries again.[/quote]

It is not 1950, and it never will be again. We’re done with that.[/quote]

You may be done with it, but it's still correct.[/quote]

No, it was “correct” in 1950. You do realize it is closer to 2050 than to 1950, yes? We’re not doing the sexist BS anymore. You can hang on to your pearls, but the world has moved on. If you want to be a dinosaur, that’s fine. But if you send me something addressed to “Mrs. Donald Draper” it is going in the recycling, unopened.[/quote]

The people saying that they should address it as Mrs. HisFirstname Lastname are being clear that that's based on the assumption that she would have addressed things to Mr.  and Mrs. Firstname Lastname previously. Otherwise, continue to address it as you would have before.

If you've always addressed things as "Aunt" or used Ms. or not put a title at all, then keep doing that.  But if the norm before was Mrs. Hisfirstname Lastname then not doing now would be glaring.  If this person preferred that form, and you didn't rock that boat before, this isn't the time to do it, because the absence will hurt.

I haven't lost a spouse, but I lost a child.  In those early months, if someone referred to me as a mother of 2, it hurt a lot, because I'll be the mother of 3 in my mind.  Now, if someone doesn't know, maybe because I met them later, but if someone had referred to me as a mother of 2 in a sympathy card?  I would be hurt that my child was erased like that, because obviously someone who is writing a sympathy card for my child knows and remembers that he existed.  I see this as similar.  In her mind, he'll always be her husband.  Addressing her in a way that's different than how you addressed her when he was alive would hurt in the same way.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics