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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I haven’t dealt with this issue myself so take this with a grain of salt but I highly recommend the Big Little Feelings Toddler course.  In addition to what the other posters said about removing Twin B they also say that you should praise Twin B when she’s behaving. Even if she’s just sitting calmly near Twin A you provide positive reinforcement for that behavior and you praise her and celebrate her for sitting nicely. The course has worked wonders for correcting the issues we were having.[/quote]

Twin dad from above.

The only caveat I have to add here is that especially during the toddler and preschool years, you'll need to make sure that you balance the positive reinforcement for both children.  This is one of the areas where having twins is different than having two different age siblings.  With different age siblings, they are used to there being some differences in how you parent based on their ages.  You often do things that are age appropriate with one sibling, but not with another.  When you have twins, then you don't have an age discrepancy to cover when you treat the children differently.  If you are going to have positive reinforcement for one child, then you need to not only use positive reinforcement for the other twin, but you have to use parallel positive reinforcement.  In the above PP's example, you can't just praise B for sitting calmly or not taking toys.  You have to praise both of them for sitting calmly or taking toys, even if A typically does that and B does not.  Most children will recognize disparate treatment, but you have to have good reasons or their imagination will conjure all sorts of reasons, anxieties, concerns for why they are treated differently, especially if they are the same age, same gender, etc.  And worse, they can often feel bad and spiral downwards without telling you what the problem is, especially when younger, either pre-verbal or newly verbal.  And often it takes far longer to repair unplanned or unexpected consequences than it the original solution fixed, so just think about and prepare for such situations.

It's not a bad suggestion, but just one that has different nuances when you are dealing with twins vs different age siblings.[/quote]

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