Reply to I want my 16mo old to just fight back…

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a dad of 11 year old twins if that means anything.

Superyards are your friends.  Get a set of 6 panels of superyards.  Make a separate pen and as soon as B does anything aggressive, put her there.  And you say No biting/hitting/kicking at the same time.  Yes, they are only 16 months, but you need to create associations for them.  They are slowly learning basic language.  At this age, everything that is learned has to be immediate (put the association there) and definite.  So, any biting/hitting/kicking is immediately associated with the timeout isolation in the superyard.  I know someone else already suggested the playpen, but we found the superyards to be more useful in part because they are more flexible.  You can make a hexagon, you can make a rectangle, you can make an odd shape that will fit around other furniture.  And it was easier to move it between floors than a playpen.

But the immediate association of biting/hitting/kicking equates to time out in the pen and the verbal reinforcement of saying No hitting/kicking/biting eventually gets through.  Be prepared that it will take multiple times and multiple months for this to sink in, but you do need to firmly address this.  Some of the patterns that are currently developing are bad and harder to erase without addressing the underlying problem in a way that the toddlers will understand.  Right now, A is afraid of B, and believes that she is not safe if her sister is around.  But B is learning that she can do something to A and A will be removed.  If she wants a toy or other object, she just attacks her sister and you'll remove sister from the item and B will get it.  And B is also learning resentment.  At that age, physical touch with parents is valuable and comforting.  She is learning that you seem to have more affection for A and that if something happens, A will get pampered and loved, but she will not.

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