Reply to Unwanted guests and pushy exDH

Forum Index » Parenting -- Special Concerns

Reply to "Unwanted guests and pushy exDH"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait a minute. First you said this:
"...[SM's family] have been staying with them so far, and it wouldn't feel "appropriate" to leave them behind on such an important event"

Now you say this: 
"...But [DS] has never met his stepmother's family, he doesn't know them."

Are you saying that your son has not visited his father in all these months?

Even if your son has never met them I'll bet there will be others at the event he hasn't met either. As long as your ex foots the bill it makes zero difference in the grand scheme of things.

The biggest tell is this:  "...I think this is coming from the stepmother, maybe she wants to feel included."

Aha. Now we get to the REAL reason.

As others have already told you, the SM should be included. Why do you think she shouldn't?  Especially since your DC is OK with her.

[b]The biggest problem here is... YOU.[/b]

[/quote]

OP: DS visited his father all these months. He prefers not to sleep in their house, it's his choice, he is a light sleeper. SM is included. She was invited all this time. We've had bar mitzvah prep for a year. Her relatives have been living with her for the past couple of months. Not once in all this time did exDH mention these people coming until recently. [/quote]

Since they don't really have a real relationship you expecting Dad to pay for anything extra above child support is unreasonable.  Its fine for you to ask him to pay for the extra cost but what you are saying is he doesn't go to Dad's house and it sounds like that is partly your decision so he doesn't know these people.  Child needs a real relationship with Dad, including sleeping over his house.  You can get a sound machine or something to block out the noise.  [b]Your refusing to not have child sleep over is generally the first step to alienation and pushing Dad out of the child's life.  [b]You are clearly a huge part of the problem.[/b] [/b] Except baring abuse or neglect, child should be sleeping over Dad's house, not just Dad picking up child for an hour every few weeks when you allow it.[/quote]

100%. OP is jealous. She wants to make the SM the whipping post and as a petty excuse to further ice-out father. [/quote]

She's refusing Dad a reasonable relationship with the kid.  Kid cannot even go to Dad's house anymore.  If they are living in the home and kid went over, even for a day he would have met him.  So, if Dad is seeing this kid, it's only at Mom's house for a few hours at best a few times a month.

OP cannot complain Dad not paying extra's on demand when Dad has no relationship with the child.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics