Reply to Our teen only wants to hang out with the “bad” kid

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Reply to "Our teen only wants to hang out with the “bad” kid"

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[quote=Anonymous]I think it is a bad idea to cut off contact with the kid.  When you try to pick their friends, it builds a wall between you and your child and your child will just stop talking to you.

When my slightly younger kid was hanging out with another kid, copying bad language and behavior, I had a chat with him.  I talked about the behavior and what was polite, nice and acceptable.  I told him that I wasn't going to stop him from seeing his friend, but that I was not going to allow him to behave disrespectfully and mean.  If he could continue his friendship with the other boy and not mimic the bad behavior, the bad language, etc, I was fine.  But he needed to be a nice person whether or not he was friends with this kid.  My son tried to clean up his own behavior and language and for a while had a good influence on the other kid, but the other kid eventually reverted to form and my son finally decided it wasn't worth the effort and slowly drifted away from this kid.  They are still on talking terms at school, but don't hang out much otherwise and my son has moved on to other kids who have better behavior and language.

My son continues to have a good rapport with me and he told me about things as the friendship continued, then lapsed and as he moved on.  So, we kept open communication.  It may not work for everyone, but it worked for us.[/quote]

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