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[quote=Anonymous]I'm in a similar marriage too. Twenty years, four kids. I left.
Took months of therapy and reading to realize that what he is doing is classic emotional abuse and narcissism. (He cheated because I cheated, even though I didn't. He calls me cruel things and attacks my character in front of the kids because I provoked it. He is only trying to do right while I keep defying him. Etc.) It will probably take me even longer to fully shed the guilt and knee jerk response of contorting myself and shutting down my feelings to try to make him behave like a decent father and person. It is crazy making.

On the upside, they seem to follow a playbook. The more you learn and build your strategies to fight it, and the more you realize you are NOT the crazy one or wrong one or whatever he twists into your belief system.... The more you can see things more objectively and give yourself strength to keep going.

If my daughter was in my situation I'd tell her to leave yesterday. This thought is what gives me clarity. [/quote]

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