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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If it’s part of an estate tax avoidance thing it’s a pretty big benefit. They pay the school directly. I agree people should be wary of parents using money as leverage, but as long as you can take over the payments whenever you want, there’s not much leverage. It’s when you couldn’t otherwise afford it that it gets sticky. [/quote]

This.  What actual control is DH afraid your parents have?  He's afraid MIL will say mean things and is willing to pay $20K/ year (or whatever two private school tuitions cost) to try to avoid hearing mean things?  That seems super....sensitive.  Also, if MIL is the type to hold things over someone's head she'll find a way to do that with other smaller things regardless of whether they accept the tuition money.  It reflects more on her than anyone else.  [/quote]

Not the poster you are responding to, but unless you have experienced controlling parents who give gifts with strings, it is hard for you to understand just how stabby they can be if they don't think you are grateful enough for the 42nd time.[/quote]

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