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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again....By far the HARDEST thing for me to do is hold my ground and maintain this point of view when he is being nice, funny, helpful, etc.   It makes me stir crazy and very confused, and then I feel guilty.  That is the part I need help with from a therapist.

That and I know my kids love him.   As they got older, he was nicer to them, too.  It was easier.  He never participated in the hard stuff when they were little , but stepped in as a "dad" when it was just about the fun stuff that he likes.

I want to say I wish I had never married him, but it's hard to say when I have 4 beautiful children.    It's messy and painful no matter how I look at it.  [/quote]

You’re tough and protected the children well. 
Pls plan your exit, save money, make new friends and get ready for a really fun and PEACeFUL life in your 50s, 60s and 70s without him. He doesn’t deserve you. Hate how he treats children like props and accessories, only swinging in when convenient for him to goof around a few minutes with them. [/quote]

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