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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone knows that most families don't consider you a proper adult until you're married with kids.

Or is that just mine? I'm successful af and perfectly happy being single. I have no desire for kids. In the eyes of my parents, I'm not a proper adult.

My mom will gush on and on about my siblings, their spouses, and their kids and completely omit me. I've heard it happen on more than one occasion. I've even been standing next to her while she forgot about me until the other person smiled and said, "and Alice, what have you been up to lately?" My mom barged in with "oh, you know, Alice - still single and all about her job."

Except that's not accurate at all. She makes it sound like I'm some workaholic with no interests or friends. I finish my workday at 6 pm like the rest of my coworkers and live my life. Just because I don't go home to a husband or have kids, it doesn't mean I'm not fulfilled and happy. I wish my parents understood that. [/quote]

Ugh, I am so sorry PP. I am now married and have a child, but it was like this for me for a LONG time.

Something I've discovered is that I am now not that interested in the "attention" I get thanks to being married and having a child -- it feels pretty false to me because it's obvious they are only interested in my circumstance (and how it makes them feel) than actually caring about me as a person. Like I spent 15 years as an adult doing all kinds of things that my family just ignored or treated as unimportant, and now that I have a kid my parents are like "when can we visit? when will you visit? we can't want to see our granddaughter!" And I just think "sure, for now, but what happens if she is ever 30 and single, will you just ignore her completely like you did me?

My mom has since told me she regrets how they handled that situation and that helps some, but it doesn't change the fact that I felt basically abandoned by family for years until I got married and became "legitimate" in their eyes. I've made my peace with it but it is very unkind. I'm glad you at least have a good understanding of your inherent value as a person and of the importance of your life even if your family can't see it. That's their blindness.[/quote]

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