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[quote=Anonymous]
OP - Many have been through similar things with a son or daughter in early to mid 20s,  and it is often when the life with goals and an expected path sort of just ends and you have to figure out what to do with your education or technical training.  Plus, society soon says it is time to leave your parents home.  And it seems just easier to fall back on what may have been slightly poor choice outlets of social media, video gaming, alcohol, drugs or just hanging out with”friends” than moving in a forward direction.   
I would offer to consider:

1 A complete  physical checkup to rule out any comorbid or unexpected physical ailments. Encourage him to ask for a referral to a therapist.

2 A mental health evaluation if you think it is needed or possibly ask him to talk about how he is feeling with his internist and see if the doctor might prescribe 
a low dose antidepressant and see impact first.

3 If resistant to a therapist, then research i your area for a person (Career Coach, Employment Counselor, Executive Functioning Coach??) who might help DS explore next steps for him through some process of looking at his education, any job experiences, his interests etc.  Also seeing if a first step of getting a basic part-time job, a volunteer job or even enrolling in a college, no credit interest or vocational class o some sort would help him to develop a doable weekly plan giving him the time to work on his health which is key.

4 The suggestion to help him connect to a fitness center appropriate ti his age etc. can be the first expected daily or weekly activity to give him a place to go to work on fitness, be around other people in general and a reason to get up and out of house.  It is i portant to help one rebuild a daily life cycle and then put the blocks together in a week.

5 You MIGHT seek out some professional advice on how to measure support at this stage with some normal expectations of being in school to complete a degree or for job training, getting a job as appropriate to his health status or getting g a volunteer job.  Also, coming up with activities of daily living that he is expected to do — which may start slowly, but can be another aspect of a daily routine to offset the idea of sleek g in all day and doing whatever at night??

6 While you want to help him, it is also important to not make your home “too comfortable” and to have an open pocketbook.  Get advice as needed on how to develop rules of the house, expectations to remain at home and what expenses you will cover.

a  iIf you have family health insurance, I would encourage you to tell him, this msy be his best chance to get the therapy etc he needs.  The coverage can be to 26 so this should not be ended.  If one nears this age, then helping one transition to an appropriate policy and perhaps paying fir health care could be a high priority.

b If DS is driving a family car or has one of his own, making sure one has appropriate auto insurance is a second priority to consider, especially if needed to
Go to doctors, school, a job etc.

c If one needs further education and there is a plan, then sitting down and discussing how much you might contribute and fir what oeriod might be another priority but with clear goals on regular attendance, progress and end date.

d if DS needs a place to live, then develop a house contract on what he will be expected to do as an adult member of the home.   If one is earning money, then having a budget developed as simple as a list of basic life expenses which you are willing to continue to cover and what he will take on needs to be a continuing conversation.  ALso what extras you will not be paying for as a motivator to get the earning power of a job understood.

These are my thoughts from having a very bright daughter drop out of graduate school at the end of a 3-year program after the COBRA period ended on health insurance several years ago when the age was 22,  return home and the aspects that went into her understanding what was needed for her to do to get her mental health back in sync, complete her education and then move forward in the job world.  It is not easy and all aspects are not addressed all at once.  But it is also key to consider that younger siblings are watching what you the parent do and also that you consider the welfare of all your children.  And you need to be clear on what you can pay for and what you need to see the young adult doing.

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