Reply to BIL almost hit my 6-yr-old DD

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[quote=Anonymous]This has to be a troll, but for the responders that are not trolls, there is some interesting food for thought here. I have a child with profound ID. She is a teenager that is about nine months old cognitively. She also takes abilify, which was sort of a funny side note from the OP. Abilify isn’t some cure that makes someone that is cognitively a three year old function at a much older age.

Frankly, it is nuts that someone in OP’s position hasn’t already explained to their 6 year old that there  is a family member that functions like a toddler. My younger daughter understood her sister was more like a baby from the time the younger kid was about 3. Her friends understood this from around age 4 or 5 as they came over for play dates. We would simply explain “this is sister. She won’t talk to you and you might notice she drinks from a sippy cup and wears diapers. She may look like a big kid, but she is more like a baby.” Some asked questions, some just observed. But they all quickly moved on and accepted the situation. I always let the parents know so that if their kid came home and asked questions, the parents would not be totally confused and would have a little background to be ready to answer. My youngest is 10 now, and her friends love to come over to our house.
None of them have ever made fun of her sister (at least not where my youngest was aware). They accept the situation and move on to having fun.

It sounds like the caregiver handled this really well. They removed the BIL from the triggering situation. It is really on OP and her husband to explain the situation and allow the 6 year old to ask questions. A 6 year old shouldn’t be terrified of a situation that they were prepped for (unless the 6 year old is particularly sensitive or anxious). It does not sound AT ALL like BIL is violent. BIL had a meltdown that was age appropriate for his cognitively ability. Someone should talk this through with the 6 year old. If the 6 year old is worried, then don’t sit them near BIL at the next family event. There are many ways to manage around this.
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