Reply to AITA? DH always makes last minute holiday plans to travel

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Look, I’m as a big a fan of making spouses do their part and deal with their family, but if this happens every year and you don’t want to do it this way, just pick up the phone in October and November and invite them. You make your life as easy as possible.[/quote]

OP here. I did that last year. I asked them at Thanksgiving. They said "no sorry, but when are you coming to celebrate Christmas with us?"[/quote]

So it worked last year when you communicated earlier?  Why didn’t you repeat that? [/quote]

OP here. No it didn't work. DH made us travel last minute last year too because they wanted to see us and exchange presents.[/quote]

Oh so you didn’t continue the conversation then?  I don’t understand what happened.

In your OP it sounds like the issue is that you don’t want the plans to be made last minute. Now I am not sure.  Is the issue that you don’t want to see them at all? [/quote]

OP here. No we see them all the time. I invited them for Christmas, they invited us for Christmas. So dh didn't know what to do or which day we should go visit them. And he kept waffling back and forth before finally convincing me to go last minute.

DH is completely on board with us waking up on Christmas at home, he just can't seem to convey that to his family. [/quote]

Are you dealing with elderly parents who cannot travel?  If not, have a frank discussion with them. Tell them that you’d love to see them, but that you are busy and cannot come at this time. Then invite them to come visit for a few days after Christmas. If they turn it around on you to go see them, be straightforward. Tell them that doesn’t work for you, so you hope they can make it next year. Your DH clearly cannot handle the task you have given him. It’s ridiculous, but this is really what you need to do. Pick up the phone and call now.  If they say something about the presents, tell them they can mail them, donate them, or save them for the next time you see them. Wish them a happy holiday and go about your day. [/quote]

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