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[quote=Anonymous]Op you’ve been given a gift. Doesn’t seem like it now but truly you got to see that he’s not the right person to have children with before you did it. Don’t waste any more time, just start the divorce promise. You can’t afford to see if he can change; maybe with Herculean efforts and sacrifice on your part but is it worth it? I left someone at 34 when I realized mental illness was an issue (which had addictive sides to it, bipolar). It was very hard and I was certain I threw away my chances at family. But I spent a year in therapy, then a year dating normal people and met dh. Had kids at 38;40. I am so grateful I finally saw the ex for what he was but I had to really value myself and decide that I deserved more and that love wasn’t enough to conquer emotional and/or mental illness to that extent.

My life has more or less flourished since then. Dh is not perfect (guess what neither am I) and our marriage has its moments but I am so glad I don’t hVe to worry about stability or trust.

The ex is, as far as I know, under employed and unmarried/childless. [/quote]

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