Reply to Annoyed that ILs are unhelpful to us when we visit them, but expect us to do a ton as “good guests”

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Reply to "Annoyed that ILs are unhelpful to us when we visit them, but expect us to do a ton as “good guests”"

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a MIL to my son and DIL who just had a baby.

This recently happened, in reverse.  Of course when my kids or grandkids visit everything is done. That’s what mothers do.  It is pure joy.

But….now that one of my kids (my son) has a child, well, you know, things change.  I went to visit them (they’re not local) and ADORED loving on my beautiful new granddaughter. I neglected to see they were exhausted and overwhelmed. I did not pay attention to dishes in the sink, loads to be folded and don’t think I changed one diaper.  My heart was bursting with love and pride for this beautiful family.

So my son (new Dad) took me aside and talked to me.  That’s what adults do.  He told me, “ya know Mah, we could use some help”.  Mind you I had offered to help so they could go out and help in ways that I saw would be helpful. He did tell me I was annoying LOL. This happens to work in our family culture.

My point…..have your husband take care of it. Be honest. Use language that works with his family culture.  I don’t think I am unusual when I say….I was proud of my son.  He was watching out for his family. If his parents can’t suspend their ego….have him ask them to suspend their ego and work with him.

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