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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They are young adults, not children.  The rules we do have are house rules for every other adult family member, too.  If you're staying here/living here, please let us know when you go out and when you'll be back.  No drinking in the house. (We don't drink.) No smoking in the house.   Please ask before you invite friends over.  If you have friends over, you are responsible for cleaning up before and after the visit.  Don't borrow other people's toiletries without permission; put it on the grocery list.  No shoes in the house. Do the dishes if the sink is full. Take out the trash if the trashcan is full.  No loud music/TV/video games after 10.[/quote]

I agree 100 percent with this.

We have similar rules.

The one thing that's different is that DD can keep her computer in her room, as she does at college. Before she left for college, her computer was in our family room, where she did her homework. But that was because we didn't want her to spend all day on her computer, which she might have done if it were in her room. Now that she's in college, she's in charge of her time, and if she chooses to spend all day on her computer in her room, that's her business.

Otherwise, yes, when are you going out, when are you coming in, etc? DD doesn't drive, so she has to ask us to take her places anyway. No drinking or smoking, of course. She does not have a boyfriend, as yet, and if she did, no, we would not allow him to stay over here, nor would we allow her to stay over with him during her breaks. At college, she can do what she wants.

It's a period of transition, OP, and it's tough. We're figuring it out as we go. Each child is different, so we bend our rules according to what the child needs and wants and what we feel comfortable with. No drugs, ever of course. DD is a guest in our house, essentially, because now she lives at school, so she must behave as a guest, not a slobby, obnoxious teenager, which she was before she left for college.

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I would never consider my kids a guest in any house I live in. [/quote]
Same. This reminds me of parents who say “ you are always welcome here” but, no, their kid/young adult feels they really aren’t. My MIL is like this. Sad. [/quote]

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