Reply to Mom recently died, DH is planning his mom's bday party

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your mom is dead and you will always envy all people whose moms are alive.

However, your DH cannot behave as if his own mom is dead.  Life is so short that we must celebrate when we have the option. Yes, you should be spared this year from organizing your MILs birthday because you are still grieving but reflect on your reaction and be a bit ashamed.  You want your DH to not celebrate his living parent?

Losing your own parent should make you realize how impermanent life is. What if your MIL dies tomorrow? Would you feel happy at your DH's pain or will you feel bad for him because you have suffered a similar loss?

Be better, OP. Be better because that is the way to celebrate the lessons your mom taught to you. [/quote]

This is hard truth OP, but it's right. I lost my mom 16yrs ago. I miss her every single day. I feel envy and resentment in situations like the one you're describing. But I'm far enough beyond the first phase of grief to realize that it does no good whatsoever to feel this way and it's actively wrong to try to deny other people their celebrations. I guess that's the acceptance phase of grief - I hope you can get there. It still sucks, but that's life. I can watch my kids with my inlaws and I know that it takes nothing away from what my parents were to them.[/quote]

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