Reply to How did your sibling being a "dud" impact your relationship with him/her, and with your parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had an uncle like this. He was a hippie.  Had no problem living off of welfare and my grandfather.  He actually would say things like he wouldn’t work for “the man”.  He had no close relationships.  Never married and none of his 3 siblings respected him.  It’s hard not to resent someone who doesn’t work and gets your tax dollars and what might have been your inheritance, but at the same time you wouldn’t want to be them right?  [/quote]

So well put.

My parents did not have much money, but they were very focused on being as fair as possible with what they had. I think they were heavily influenced by two different intergenerational experiences. My mom's parents were also very focused on being fair with their six kids and that has continued across the generations. My father's oldest sister always resented that she wasn't an only child (my dad and the younger sister were born ~10 years after her) and she controlled their mother's modest money and possessions. When our grandmother died, she went into her home along with her daughter and daughter in law and selected everything they wanted and then told my dad and his sister that they could go over. Items even belonging to my dad and sister had been taken. My dad really didn't want to repeat that so my parents followed my maternal grandparents' model.

Yes, kids are not equal and some may need "more," but would be much better if parents were open and transparent about what they were doing.  [/quote]

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