Reply to What makes a grandmother dislike a certain granddaughter?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother[b] intensely dislikes[/b] my daughter for the pettiest things, but[b] adores[/b] our sons, so it’s not just our family. And she adores my brother’s daughter, who is the same age as my daughter, so it’s not a gender thing. The thing is, her mother, so my grandmother, also had over-the-top favorite grandkids and intense dislike and passive-aggressiveness for certain grandkids, which drove my mom up a wall when we were growing up. When I try to delicately explain how she didn’t like it then, but now she’s doing it, she won’t admit it’s the same. Is this genetic or is there any other explanation? She has turned into her mother after vowing never to.[/quote]

You're describing internal feelings, which you are likely assuming.  What matters are the actions.  What is she actually DOING? Focus on that.

If she is giving more attention to one child than another, I'd point it out and let it go.
If she is saying hurtful things TO one child, I would be firm about not allowing that.

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