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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Some of you seem to be confusing empathy with emotional intelligence. They aren’t the same.

Emotional intelligence is generally defined as the ability to perceive and manage emotions. It’s what some is you seem to mean when you talk about being able to read others. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence

Emotional intelligence is not correlated with either empathy or narcissism—it can go on many directions. A sociopath can use their ability to perceive others’ emotions to manipulate other people. 
[/quote]

I think some narcissists are adept at faking empathy because they have a lot of emotional intelligence. It’s one way narcissists can be very charming. It’s also practical— narcissists only care about their own needs and can use their emotional intelligence to manipulate others into serving their needs. But if you look closely, you’ll see those closest to the narcissist are not actually getting their needs met. Instead, they have been convinced that the narcissist’s needs ARE their needs. Like one thing I’ve noticed is how often a narcissist has a very close friend who dies not seem to have any life or interests away from the narcissist. They are single and perpetually “unlucky in love” but in reality they’ve arranged their life in service to the narcissist and their is no room for them to service needs that don’t also benefit the narc.

If you ask someone like this if the narc has empathy, they’ll say of course, they are always so supportive and empathetic towards me. And the dynamic is insidious because as this codependent person neglects their own life, they only admire the narc more, for having what the codependent doesn’t. In reality this person is being used but the narcissist has effectively convinced them that it is symbiotic and that the narc has more because they are inherently superior.[/quote]

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