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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Basically just looking for validation that I am not crazy. DH has had issues regulating his emotions since our son was born. There has been many instances that he has been so frustrated with our son that he has had shown 0 composure and has just defaulted to what he knows best which is cursing and name calling. Over the past 8 months there has been at least 10 instances of name calling

Babies are stressful. But, I am finding it nearly impossible to have any empathy for my husband. He has demonstrated such a short fuse and inability to handle stress. Basically if my son does something that causes him to hurt himself my husband just calls him an idiot. For example, he has started to crawl and he is able to lift himself up by climbing on something,and occasionally he falls. He tries to climb on everything and inevitably falls. When he falls and cries my husband calls him an idiot while giving him a hug. My husband immediately apologizes and says he just blurts it out without thinking but I am growing increasingly concerned that this is his default during stressful situations.  It is not in a living way but his tone comes of frustrated since he always uses the word to say “effing” idiot.

Even worse, he gaslights me telling me I am over reacting that this is “damaging” our son. Not surprising my husband grew up in a household where yelling and name calling was the norm. He tells me that I am not appreciative enough and don’t recognize the work he has done in this area. My husband refuses to go to therapy and wants to work on it “on his own time.” I’m at a loss for what to do. I’m more disgusted my husband doesn’t see anything wrong with calling a baby an idiot. He is only trying to make it better because it makes me so upset[/quote]

Telling you you are overreacting is not gaslighting. It’s a lot of rude things but not that.[/quote]

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