Reply to Staying at hospital with parent 24/7

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[quote=Anonymous]We did this at first and it took a toll of the families we created and our health. Once we started having serious health issues (because there can be MANY emergencies), we started to have healthier boundaries. It's a marathon and I over the past decade we have seen our friends develop anything from cancer to a heart attack while trying to do the sandwich generation thing just right. It takes a toll on their children too. It took a toll on our children. One of our kids in therapy was talking a lot about seeing her parents wiped out and stressed out all for a grandparent who wasn't even nice to us. Some on here said you are setting an example for your kids-IMO it's the wrong example about boundaries and priorities. If we die, grandma is going to be able to take over. That may sound extreme, but when you hear your friend who was struggling with these very issues just had a heart attack, it makes you think.

We made changes. We still visited the hospital of course and we hired aides. I agree with that quote that says something like it's more important to be a good ancestor than it is the be the perfect child. You need to value your spouse and kids and your own life enough to find healthy boundaries.[/quote]

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