Reply to Waited to TTC due to husband and now having fertility issues

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[quote=Anonymous]I would strongly advise against getting attached to a narrative of this being "his fault." If you personally have fertility issues, those have nothing to do with him. If he personally has fertility issues, those likely have nothing to do with waiting a couple of years in his early 30s. And 4 months is 4 cycles.

Realistically, it is a lot harder to get pregnant than many of us are told. When I was a teenager, the "IT ONLY TAKES ONCE" message was reinforced loud and clear, such that most of us thought that you could get pregnant any time sperm was around your body. It is really not that easy. There are only a few days during the month when the timing lines up. If you are able to conceive during those few days, there is still a 1 in 4 chance that your pregnancy will end in miscarriage.

Your resentment toward your husband is toxic. This is not healthy for the process y'all are in. Pregnancy, even uncomplicated unassisted pregnancy, is stressful on your body and your relationship. Having children is massively stressful on your relationship. Do not start that journey with the idea that you were doing things right and your husband messed it up. It's a recipe for a really bad marriage and coparenting relationship.[/quote]

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