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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Can a parenting marriage last?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are doing it. I think, for me, it’s easier because I’d finally come to the realization three years ago that he wasn’t into me at all anymore. (This was after years of me asking if there was something going on, hormone levels, what could I do differently.). And so affection on my part just sort of died and we just kept chugging along. It came to a head about six months ago, when he was forced to tell me some things. Which at that point I honestly didn’t care. I did care that my life had been hijacked, but that was sadness and anger about the past, not anything about what he felt he had to tell me at that particular point. Our kids are teens. We decided to stay together. No lovers/hookups/etc. ever in the house. We talked a lot about if one of us fell for someone else. It’s really unlikely for me, I’m middle aged and I’m not interested in marriage again. I also can’t see it for him, but that is wrapped up in circumstances. But, we’d stay together until the kids are in college at least. After that, we are friendly enough to coexist together for financial and general stasis reasons. If one of us does find someone and felt it necessary to be on their own to pursue something, we would split and figure it out then. It’s been honestly a relief, to know I wasn’t crazy. And also really sad, because things could have been different. Anyway. I haven’t gone out there myself, I really can’t figure out how. [b] I’d like to spend an evening with someone who thinks I’m interesting, and finds me attractive. I’m lonely. Kissing, Business Time, sure, though I don’t know that I remember how. Like a friend with benefits I guess? But, it’s hard[/b]. We are not public/out about it to family or friends. I think about going to a bar and just, what, sitting there to see if someone looks single? I don’t want my face on an app, and I have to imagine men may be weirded out that I’m married and that my husband is completely fine with this. So, about parenting, being together - it’s been fine. I think it’s better for us now that everything is on the table. Less avoidance. More just, okay, this is how it will be. We talk about it, are open. It’s been good in that respect. I think at some point we may need to tell close friends and immediate family. Individual therapy is happening. No need for couples unless we need help navigating something. Of course, it’s early on still.[/quote] Hey PP, I am a man in the same situation. Thing is, I am attractive and get attention from women, successful in the business world, but for whatever reason, my wife just doesn't have sexual attraction to me. We tried some counseling but it didn't work. I think we both see fault in letting our sexual connection fall when kids were young but its been years, its awkward and we have a decent parenting marriage. It became better when we acknowledged it. I had one short fling and it was wonderful. Reading the bolded part, it makes me dream of finding someone like you. Run away for a weekend? ;) Seriously though, there are many marriages like ours. It works until it doesn't, but if it works for now, I can always leave later. Hugs![/quote]
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