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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]

It's not a matter of being selfish. If the children have been alienated from the father by the divorced mother, why would he pay for their college?[/quote]

Because if the child is now in college, it means that child is now over 18 and an adult and no longer living full time with the mother that presumably alienated them, so the loving father that wants a relationship with their child would be interested in demonstrating to his child that he is a supportive father and not a manipulative vindictive jerk who is using money as a tool against the child.

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Children who don’t love or respect a parent who was done wrong don’t deserve a free college ride or an inheritance. When the kids are 18 they are free to educate themselves about what their mother did to cause the divorce and how she behaved afterwards. If they aren’t interested in learning the truth then they can go through life poor. [/quote]

The thing is divorce is never one parents fault. And kids who are minors have limited mental and psychological ability to process who did wrong and what. In fact, making your child to go through this mental processing is manipulative IMHO.
My exH cheated, not me. We divorced when son was 15 and I insisted on college obligation being part of divorce abs assets settlement. It’s contractual on him, but he behaves erratically with son. Last week dad beat up son on his custodial time . Son told him he wanted to live with mom, as my exH is just capable of consistent calm parenting and respecting his son’s opinions. Even if he takes son to make a haircut it must be the style dad wants, not the son. It irritates him immensely.
I will be taking my exH to court if he doesn’t pay as per terms of the divorce settlement and put a lien on his house. [/quote]

NP. Sometimes divorce is only one parent's fault. My relative just walked away from his entire family, closed the bank accounts and just left. He didn't want to have a family anymore. It had nothing to do with his wife and they hadn't even argued. He just had a mental breakdown basically.[/quote]

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