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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When these dysfunctional family relationships exists, it's usually that one or more are alcoholics.

Op, I hope that's not the case.[/quote]

Op here- no alcohol involved. My dad is more just unpleasant to me- and I always put up with it so my kids didn’t probably realize much. He doesn’t verbally abuse or yell at me- except the one xmàs- I would never tolerate that. He just makes constant slams and dismisses me on everything. When you grow up with something, you sometimes tolerate more. When he did yell at me that one xmàs in front of kids, that was the tipping point- but after that he made me pay by really being nasty through end of holiday- saying things like “of course Donna we always have to do what’s you want”— on something ridiculous like the path we picked for hike- I piked the one both kids and seniors could take - 1 mile- one was 2.5 miles but of course he didn’t ask, just attacked me and how we always do what I want- for real! On a family hike. But that wasn’t point, he was making me pay and again, just could barely tolerate me. It’s like oil and water. 
   I did finally tell my older kids last weekend that I didn’t like the way grandpa treated me. That family shouldn’t do that and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to feel that way another xmàs. But I don’t want to obsess with them as I like they have a relationship. He teases them and can sometimes be too much for them but they blow it off as grandpa. I don’t want to change their love for him.
    I could give the full blow by blow of how he treats me, just know it’s like when your mom remarried and her new boyfriend tolerates you. Honestly that’s what it reminds me of. Tolerate but can’t stand. [/quote]

Are your parents the seniors in the hike example? Why did you make a decision for them on what kind of hike they could handle? The kids can easily walk 2.5 miles. Are you sure you're not too controlling and that's part of the friction? [/quote]

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