Reply to My Demanding Narc Mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your mom is showing you that she is lonely and needs a broader social circle.  I am willing to be that she would be SO MUCH HAPPIER if she moved to assisted living with some of her friends.  Can you nudge her in this direction in a way that would make it seem like her own idea?  I used to think that moving to a retirement community or assisted living would be sad, but I have seen so many people move to these places and thrive.  They are surrounded by people in the same phase of life as them, who have the same sort of availability, who can get together for activities/social gatherings/complain about your children sessions.  I see seniors in my neighborhood who are so desperate for chit-chat that they stalk their windows waiting for someone to walk by so that they can talk.  Unfortunately they are surrounded by working families who are rarely available during the day, and whose evenings and weekends are full of obligations to kids and other family.  Your mom will demand so much less from you if she gets more social interaction.[/quote]

OP back and no, I’m not a troll.

This is exactly the conversation I need to have with my mom. She’s already out a hold or deposit down for a cottage in a nearby AL community.
It’s managing her expectations. It is not possible to for me to call her every day and talk for an hour, nor visit once a week after work.

She is increasingly bitter and angry. I purposely haven’t checked in with her this week (after sibling had lengthy call) because I don’t want to be criticized and berated and listen to her rant.[/quote]

Then tell her that - when she starts you shut her down saying "Mom, I didn't call to be criticized and berated.  You complain if we don't check in, yet every call is a litany of issues you blame me for.  Will it ever be enough?  And for the record, I always have to be the one to call you.  You haven't called me in weeks/months but I don't call you to complain that I'm feeling unloved and not valued."

Get her a pet.[/quote]

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