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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You just don't know what's going on in their lives. I met someone new to my neighborhood and we quickly went out for lunch and started texting a bunch - then my mother had a serious health problem, my nephew was diagnosed with a rare fatal condition, I got slammed with work, and I just didn't have the bandwidth to nurture this relationship.

About six months later I did reach out to this person and she basically said that I had flaked on her and thanks but no thanks to getting together again. One the one hand, I guess good for her for knowing what she wants - on the other, seemed like a fairly nasty way to behave toward someone she doesn't even really know, who was going through things she has no idea about.

Just to say: people might just be dealing with some stuff and not have the bandwidth for a new friendship right now. I think the other PPs are right that your best bet is to try to meet other people. Join a club, join a FB group for foodies and put up a broad invitation to have a group dinner (we made friends with people in a local foodie group when we were new to town - in middle age). You have to treat friendship like dating, basically - cast a wide net, try not to get too hung up on any one person, go out on a lot of first dates and see what sticks, etc. 
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Did you tell her or expect her to read your mind?  That does not make her nasty ( what a childish expression)  nasty is someone who picks their nose in public[/quote]

Showing your underpants to someone you don't even really know because you're mad they couldn't get as close to you as you wanted when you wanted is nasty. It's not normal. It's not how people with a regular amount of empathy behave.

It's also not how normal people behave when they live in the same neighborhood and are going to run into each other sometimes. What you do in that case is say that you'd love to get together but the next few weeks are very busy and let's reconnect after that. Saying something like that lets everyone save face and be normal if you happen to see each other at the store the following week. It's not the most awkward thing you could possibly say when you actually don't even know the other person and have no idea what's going on in their life.[/quote]

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