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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We just had a bunch of cousins together recently. Ages were 2, 6, 9, 13 and 17. I was very impressed the two oldest girls never took out their phones once in five hours. The oldest three brought toy cars and magna-tiles, which helped break the ice, but mostly they were rolling around on the floor and doing quasi yoga poses and gymnastics, or sitting on the couch reading books. [/quote]

OP here. My daughter can play with them great for a few hours or a day visit. It’s the weeklong stay that I’m worried about![/quote]

She doesn’t need to play with them nonstop. She can also bond with other relatives who are adults, do errands with you, read, etc. [/quote]

My in-laws get upset when she doesn’t play with them nonstop and takes a break to read, watch some videos, etc. They tell her that she only sees them a few times a year and so should play with them and that she can read when she’s alone our home![/quote]
Tell them they’re out of line. It’s not your daughter’s job to entertain her cousins. [/quote]

OP you have the right idea. It's fine to expect some play and some babysitting type mentality, but also totally developmentally normal to allow teens to be teens and get away from that. Your inlaws are in the wrong. If they aren't the type who can be reasoned with, then from now on I would carve out boundaries. Stay at a hotel. Have family time all together and teen activity time.

Make sure you and your husband are on the team with this. The person who said it isn't a big age difference it right for adulthood, but wrong for childhood. It's a major sea of difference and it's unrealistic to expect them to be together all the time. It may breed resentment if they are forced together the whole time. I have found the families obsessed with the whole "cousins" mentality where they all must be close and you must create perfect core memories and take lots of photos sew the seeds for cousins to be distant in adulthood. Things need to happen organically. People need to be allowed to be their age. Differences need to be respected. Those are the families that sew the seeds for true closeness rather than the appearance of closeness with no real substance.[/quote]

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