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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see a few issues here.

One is that popcorn isn't a safe snack for 3 year olds.

But beyond that, OP is teaching her kid some horrible habits.  Bacon, eggs, yogurt, toast and juice is a really unbalanced breakfast.  Maybe once in a while for a treat, but kids should be getting fruit or veggies with every meal, and then lunch didn't sound much better.  Plus kids should be eating every few hours.  A single, sit down snack between meals, especially with fruit and whole grains, is a great way to help kids learn portion control, get some nutrition in, and arrive at meals hungry but not starving which is ideal.

Her friend made much better choices, other than the popcorn.  Her kid drank water instead of juice.  He had three servings of fruit and veggies (apples, apples and the tomato sauce) plus any at breakfast, instead of zero.   He's learning that it's OK to have a treat like pizza in a special circumstances, and because his mother isn't controlling he listened to his own body and stopped when he was full rather than overeating it, even though it was a treat food.  He isn't in the situation of watching other people have a snack while not getting one, which is likely to cause disordered eating in the future.  Other than the popcorn, it sounds like that mom is doing all the right things.  [/quote]

I don't disagree with what you've said here really except:

It doesn't matter! Both kids clearly have attentive parents who feed them a variety of foods and care that they are well fed. Good enough. If the kids are happy and in good health, the rest of it doesn't matter that much.

This is the main thing I learned from having a super picky eater (like borderline ARFID picky) -- people put a TON of judgment and requirements around kids eating and in the end, you do your best and it largely works out. My child would not touch a vegetable for FIVE YEARS. She went through a period where she had five foods she would eat. But those five foods were bread, yogurt, berries, nuts/nut butter, and cheese. So it was fine because that's a good enough diet and she is thankfully not lactose intolerant.

I remember going out with my picky eater and watching parents watch us feed here and initially just feeling so much embarrassment and feeling like such a bad mom. But thankfully, with time and lots of conversations with the pediatrician and a nutritionist and reading everything I could on children's nutrition, I arrived at a place where I could silently remind myself that these people were getting a tiny glimpse of my kid's diet and making all kinds of assumption based not only on what they know about good nutrition (which is often not that much) but also a host of deeply engrained social and cultural attitudes that don't have much to do with health or a good diet. Let them judge.

These kids are FINE. More than fine -- they are eating what their parents are serving them, consuming a variety of tastes and textures, and getting fairly balanced diets. Good enough. People need to stop with the judgment. Just stop.[/quote]

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